One of the things I learned from my grandma was how to find pleasure in the blandest fare that life has to offer. And I don't mean this in a boring figurative way, but in fact, with regard to the most tangible, most sensuous aspect of life--food. Not that she did not give me that same wisdom at the figurative level: I did ultimately learn that every experience, whether sweet or bitter, had its own unique taste, and that even the most terrible moments deserved to be savoured because they were just as beautiful and ephemeral as the pleasant ones; but I'd rather talk about food here, because that was something my grandma savoured at a level almost bordering on spirituality.
When I was fourteen years old, my grandma decided that she wanted to live with her youngest son and moved in with us. That was the beginning of trouble for me. I was an obnoxious teenager, that too an only child, who was forced to submit to the authority of one more adult in her life. What was worse, I had to share my room with her! And she was a disciplinarian who thought I was the worst brought up kid in the world. She needed to feel that she had some say in the upbringing of the only child in the house she was a part of, and also wanted to mould me into a person of her liking. And I had a fierce resistance to this kind of manipulation, along with a feeling of rejection and an aching desire for unconditional approval. Those were turbulent times--shouting matches, slamming of doors, bouts of crying--I just hated her.
But I am digressing here. I was going to talk about food, right? Well, when she first came, I thought my grandma was the most boring person in the world. And she ate the most boring kind of food. Poor thing. Bland boiled food for her delicate stomach and high blood pressure. I used to pity her, with silent pleasure, of course (I was such a jerk). Mealtimes were the only part of the day when I enjoyed the sweet pleasure of revenge. But as days went by, I began to feel that her food looked tastier than mine. She had a way of mixing the food on her plate that made the pure white rice and the fresh green vegetables of all shades look like a work of art, and a way of rolling that mixture in her mouth which made that austere morsel look like the food of the gods. Soon, the food on my own plate became progressively unattractive and I found myself eying her food during every meal till one day, she offered me some of it. It wasn't bad at all. Every meal after that day was topped by one huge morsel of her food as the last bite.
That was the thawing of the ice. We became great friends after that and all the shouting matches proved to be the building blocks of a most beautiful relationship. Ultimately, I think I became the only grandchild of hers who was allowed to scream at her, storm out of the room and then come back an hour later to lie by her side while she gently stroked my hair. And I have abused that privilege so many times! It's needless to say how much I miss her now.
But I am digressing here. I was going to talk about food, right? Well, when she first came, I thought my grandma was the most boring person in the world. And she ate the most boring kind of food. Poor thing. Bland boiled food for her delicate stomach and high blood pressure. I used to pity her, with silent pleasure, of course (I was such a jerk). Mealtimes were the only part of the day when I enjoyed the sweet pleasure of revenge. But as days went by, I began to feel that her food looked tastier than mine. She had a way of mixing the food on her plate that made the pure white rice and the fresh green vegetables of all shades look like a work of art, and a way of rolling that mixture in her mouth which made that austere morsel look like the food of the gods. Soon, the food on my own plate became progressively unattractive and I found myself eying her food during every meal till one day, she offered me some of it. It wasn't bad at all. Every meal after that day was topped by one huge morsel of her food as the last bite.
That was the thawing of the ice. We became great friends after that and all the shouting matches proved to be the building blocks of a most beautiful relationship. Ultimately, I think I became the only grandchild of hers who was allowed to scream at her, storm out of the room and then come back an hour later to lie by her side while she gently stroked my hair. And I have abused that privilege so many times! It's needless to say how much I miss her now.
Now that she is gone, I cook boiled food for myself when I am in the mood sometimes, while my poor exasperated friends attribute my bizarre taste to an obsession with healthy food habits. I have learned that the taste of food lies in the art of eating (very mundane wisdom, but wisdom nevertheless), and I have also learned how to make that heavenly mixture she used to make on her plate, but I still can't get rid of the nagging feeling that the mixture on her plate was far far tastier than mine.
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